Wuji: Yeah, alright, let's get all the tree-hugger jokes out of the way with. And yeah, I'm a freakin' hobbit. We prefer "halfling", but everyone else has this stupid name stuck in their heads. Dad was a tree-huggin' druid too. At least we think so, he disappeared into Jaggedpine Forest when I was like five. Mom made up so many stories that even she probably doesn't know the truth. Besides, she's a damned drunk. Trained me when I was just a tot to brew ale for her out in the back yard.

Agla: Calm down Wu, it isn't all that bad. You travel all over the world, animals love ya', hey, I love ya'!

Wuji: Oh jeez, you and your "love". Fine, we've been together for years, but does mom acknowledge your existence? No, you're my "special friend". And your parents? Please. They still think you bein' a monk means you're celibate.

Agla: And I'd like to keep it that way, thank you. I have no reason to visit them, they send cash on a regular basis so that I can keep up my "studies". It certainly has kept us in a good home!

Wuji: And who puts the food on the table? That'd be, hmmm... let's see, oh yeah, the druid. Forage, forage, forage. Bake, bake, bake. Brew, brew, brew. What do you do all day? Exercise, exercise, exercise...

Agla: I haven't noticed you complaining about the shape I'm in...

Obnub: For the love of any of your gods, would the two of you please shut up? I thought me and my honey argued too much, but the two of you?

Exnihilo: Oh dear?

Obnub: Yes honey?

Exnihilo: Gnomes don't argue. We discuss. Please try to remember that and leave the boys alone. After all, it can't be easy being the only gay halfing-human couple in their circle.

Obnub: Yes dear. Sorry guys, but sometimes it seems like you carry this marriage thing out to some sort of stereotype. I mean, you do love each other, and you've been together longer than anyone we know.

Agla: Of course we do. And it's nice hearing it from a couple like you. It can't be easy, one of you being an "evil" shadowknight and the other one of the lovelier mages around.

Exnihilo: You'll make me blush... really, it isn't so hard, we're both gnomes, we're both from the same hometown, we just picked different professions. Even if we often have opposite goals.

Kurbash: At least the four of you have partners! Look at the rest of us! I've never even had a date!

Profilis: You think that might have a little to do with you being a thief, assassin, and fallen dark elf?

Kurbash: But charming and sexy, don't forget that! It's not like I'm the only rogue out there, nor the only dark elf! And I'm damned sexy, oh, and charming too.

Profilis: So you mentioned.

Kurbash: "So you mentioned." I don't see you exactly out playing the circuit with a hot little feline on your arm... unless you count that silly little tiger that follows you around everywhere.

Profilis: Members of noble clans do not "play the circuit". My family will make some sort of political arrangement at the appropriate time. And Fluffy is not silly.

Kurbash: Fluffy? That's a little, ummm...

Profilis: Watch yourself elf! I may have better breeding than you, but I also have a big hammer, and I have no compunction about using it.

Kurbash: You and what army? I could carve you into kitty steaks before Fluffy could manage to get to his feet. Besides, I know your dirty little secret...

Profilis: I have no idea what you are referring to!

Kurbash: Does "lizard love" bring anything to mind?

Profilis: She's just a friend! Truly!

Kurbash: You just used a conjunction, you must be getting rattled.

Ynnad: Ssssss.... excusssse me. Jussst a friend am I?

Profilis: Not "just" Ynn, you happen to be my closest friend.

Ynnad: Isss that all?

Profilis: Must we discuss that here?

Ynnad: Fine, I'll jusssst head off with Agla and sssstudy some new techniquessss. You can come look for me when you're ready to "dissscussss...."

Obnub: Oh my... and I thought a halfling-human couple was the most bizarre... err, different... oh, you know what I mean.

Exnihilo: Take your foot out of your mouth dear and come along. Leave the skeleton out back...

Obnub: Yes dear.

Other Games

My elvaan monk from Final Fantasy XI. It's a fascinating game, lots of beautiful scenery and plenty to do. Quite a few of my friends play this as well. This toon doesn't look gay does he? Actually, I ended up getting rid of him as he wasn't developing the way I wanted him to, and started a new monk... pix to come...

City of Heroes - a fascinating online game that was based in the world of comic book superheroes. You got to design, from a huge array of choices, your own superhero - pretty much ensuring that you had a unique look. I have a thing for martial arts "in real life", so unsurprisingly I suppose, most of my gaming characters lean that way. Daze was a "scrapper", CoH's version of a super-martial artist. I've never really been into comic book superheroes though, so my playtime there didn't last long.

Horizons was the latest game (it's basically defunct now) that my friends and I had gotten into. It had a lot of things I really liked about it, including a fantastic "crafting" set of skills for characters in addition to their adventuring skills. There were also a couple of races that I hadn't seen used in other games as player characters, notably, dryads, dragons, and, as here, satyrs. This was an early shot of Megisto, my satyr monk/mason - i.e., a martial artist who also does stonework on the side. One of the fun things about the game was you got to create your own player homes and the grounds around them, so he was busy making stone walls and sculpting for himself and other players...

Everquest II, a redesigned game based in the world of Everquest, but set 500 years in the future from the game time of the original, has been released. The game is quite different from the original. Here are some of the "toons" I've been trying out; from left to right, a wood-elf bard, a ratonga shadowknight, and a dark-elf inquisitor.

One of the fun things about characters is how they develop in their look and play style. While I can't show how play style has changed over time, here's a "timeline" for some of my toons as they acquired new armor, chose colors, etc....

A friend recently asked me if there are really other folks playing out there, especially above the age of about 20... yes, absolutely. Just as a tidbit of interest (perhaps), here's a column from Gamespot, an online gaming review site, that came out back in March of 2004:

EverQuest celebrates fifth birthday

Sony Online Entertainment celebrates five years of EverQuest by releasing a number of interesting facts about the game.

To celebrate the fifth anniversary of EverQuest, Sony Online Entertainment (SOE) has today released a list of interesting facts about the game. First launched on March 16, 1999, the massively multiplayer online role-playing game is currently played by more than 420,000 people all over the world. Other facts about EverQuest announced by SOE today include the following:

More than 2.5 million copies of the game and its expansions have been sold in boxes or digitally downloaded since 1999.

If stacked end to end, the total number of EverQuest boxes created would reach a height of more than 265 miles, which would stretch out of the Earth's atmosphere and past the orbit of the International Space Station.

EverQuest averages about 250,000 new subscribers every year. Currently, there are more than 420,000 people playing the game.

At peak times, more than 100,000 people around the globe will be playing EverQuest simultaneously. Heaviest hours of operation for EverQuest are from 5pm PST to 11pm PST, with the biggest days being Thursday and Sunday--traditionally, the biggest nights for prime-time television viewing.

There are almost 12 million characters created by players within the game. Of these 12 million, more than 3 million have been played in the last six months.

The oldest EverQuest player is 78 (part of three generations of a single family that play together from different states). The youngest is nine (he plays with his mother and father).

There are more than a million non-player characters populating the world of EverQuest, made up of nearly 400 unique types of creatures.

Total play time for all current players in the game equals more than 184,000 years.

Only 17 percent of the characters played within EverQuest are human--83 percent are composed of the 14 other fantasy races available in the game.

EverQuest currently has more than 420,000 inhabitants, making the game's population larger than 42 of America's state capitals.

There are more than 350 square miles of dungeons, mountains, plains, valleys, cities, and forests to explore in the game.

There are more than 40,000 unique items for players to discover, create, and buy within the game. More than 3,000 of these items have never been discovered by players.

There are almost 100,000 trees within the world of EverQuest.

More than 1,500 servers run the world of EverQuest, which is the equivalent of one of the world's top 100 supercomputers. More than 18 miles of wire and cable connect all these boxes together.

Over 10 quadrillion bytes of EverQuest data have left the SOE network in the past five years. That's a 10, followed by 15 zeroes.

By Justin Calvert -- GameSpot 3/15/04