The Book of Exodus – while within Judaism we ofttimes refer to the entire five books of the Torah as “the five books of Moses”, in reality, this is THE book of Moses. It’s the story of the Israelite people overcoming slavery in Egypt four hundred years after the story/life of Joseph, when a Pharaoh decides that they represent a threat to his realm. This is followed by the story of the return to the land of Israel, as mandated by God. It’s been argued that “it’s the most important book in the Bible, as it presents the defining features of Israel’s identity – memories of a past marked by hardship and escape, a binding covenant with God, who chooses Israel, and the establishment of the life of the community and the guidelines for sustaining it.”
Again, reposting from my Twitter feed:
- Generations have passed since the story of Joseph at the end of Genesis. A new Pharaoh arises. He decides that there are too many Israelites. Worried that some day they might rise up against him, he has them enslaved. Yet, they remain prolific and their population, as God promised, continues to grow. He orders midwives to kill all Israelite boys at birth. They agree, but don’t actually do it, out of fear of God. Frustrated, he exhorts average Egyptians to seek out Israelite infant boys and throw them into the Nile river.
- An unnamed Jewish woman gives birth to a beautiful baby boy. For no apparent reason, she not only hid the pregnancy, but the baby, from her husband, and then puts the baby in a basket and leaves it on the banks of the Nile river, where the Pharaoh’s daughter finds it. Unknowingly, she hires the baby’s mother to nurse it, and when he’s weaned, adopts him, naming him Moses. He grows up. He kills an Egyptian slave-master and hides the body, but he’s been seen, and Pharaoh’s pissed. He flees to Midian (now Saudi Arabia). The seven daughters of a local priest are being harassed by shepherds. Moses steps in and helps them. They tell their father. He invites Moses over for dinner, and gives him one of the daughters in thanks. They have a kid. Pharaoh dies. God notices that his Jews are slaves.
- God’s secretary shows up in front of Moses as a burning bush, and then gets God on the line. I mean, at least John Denver got to talk face to face with George Burns. Just sayin’. First he’s apologetic for taking half a millennium to be in touch with the Jews, let alone letting them get enslaved. He tells Moses to go to the community elders and then with them go to Pharaoh and demand an end to slavery. He says he’ll give an assist with a bunch of godly wonders that will help convince Pharaoh to let them go. Oh, and, btw, as recompense for all the unpaid slave labor, he says they should strip their neighbors’ homes of all their wealth. After all, they were complicit in the slavery.
- Moses, not happy with being God’s messenger, protests he’s not good at speaking, he stutters, he makes gaffes… damn, where have I heard that recently? God says, no worries, your brother Aaron is on his way and will speak for you. You just have to do a little magic…like turning your staff into a snake, covering your body with scales, and turning the water of the Nile into blood. Don’t worry about going to Egypt, everyone who wanted to kill you is, umm, dead. Btw, I’m going to have Pharaoh say no, so, umm, threaten his son with death. I don’t want to give any traction to anti-semitic conspiracy theorists, but the bloodthirsty, baby killing, scale-covered lizard illuminati story came from somewhere….
- Moses and Aaron go to Pharaoh and ask him to let the Jews go. He says no and increases the workload of the Jewish slaves. They complain to Moses that he’s making things worse. Moses confronts God, pointing out that he’s making things difficult by manipulating Pharaoh.
- Moses tells God, “I told you so.” God says, “Get back in there and try again, Pharaoh (who I manipulated into saying no) has no idea what’s coming.” Moses tells the tribes’ elders, they don’t believe him. Back to God, “If they don’t believe me, why would Pharaoh?”
- God tells Moses to go with Aaron to Pharaoh and demand the release of the Jews. When he says no, and he will, throw your staff down and it will turn into a snake. They do so, but Pharaoh’s court magicians do the same, albeit, Moses’ snake swallows theirs. Take two. Take him to the banks of the Nile and wave your staff over it and the river will turn to blood. Why Pharaoh would indulge them and follow Moses and Aaron isn’t explained. They do so, but again, the magicians do the same. Take three… tell him, frogs are coming.
- A plague of frogs. A plague of lice. A plague of swarming insects. Each time one is released on Egypt by God through Moses, Pharaoh says, okay, enough, remove the plague and you can go. Each time, when the plague is removed, he changes his mind.
- News at eleven! More plagues! Pestilence kills all Egyptian livestock. Dust clouds cause boils on the skin of all Egyptians. Hail flattens all Egyptian crops! Pharaoh says, alright already, go. Moses stops the onslaught. Pharaoh… surprise… changes his mind again.
- Moses: Had enough? Pharaoh: Okay, you can go, but who’s going with you? Moses: All the Jews. Pharaoh: Not happening, go away. Courtiers: Dude, you know we’re losing this battle? Pharaoh: Okay, bring him back. Moses: Well? Pharaoh: You can go but not the slaves. Boom! Locusts! Pharaoh: Okay, enough already, you can go and take the slaves. God: Locusts, gone. Pharaoh: But, umm, I’m keeping all your possessions. Moses: Boom! Darkness! (3 days pass) Pharaoh: Alright, alright, you can take it all, but if I see you again, you’re dead.
- Just ordered out of Pharaoh’s sight on penalty of death, Moses pulls a Columbo style “oh, just one more thing”. “At midnight tonight, God’s going to come and kill every eldest Egyptian son, and every eldest Egyptian calf. But not our Jewish kids. We tried to warn you.”
- Midnight apparently didn’t mean that day. God instructs Moses to instruct the Jews to wait until the 10th of the month and each household procure a lamb. On the 14th, they are to slaughter it, brush its blood on the doorposts of their home with an herb branch, and roast and eat the entire lamb. Any leftovers are to be burned. They are to be dressed, packed, and ready for travel, and have “borrowed” all the gold and silver objects of their non-Jewish neighbors. Then, that midnight, God marches through Egypt and kills all the firstborns. Pharaoh orders Moses and the Jews to leave immediately. The Jews do so, and as God has also mandated, take their unrisen dough (normally left to bake in the morning) and head out, and the rules for Passover, and eating matzah, are announced.
- There’s a time cross here, with Moses in the future explaining to the Jewish people the past history of escaping from Egypt and the celebration of Passover, interwoven with the actual escape. Now, the closest place to escape to would have been to Canaan, but the Philistines were at war, and rather than risk that the escaping slaves might take fright and run back to Egypt, God leads them out and around the Reed Sea (not Red). Moses also brings Joseph’s remains with him that had been kept in a coffin in Pharaoh’s palace.
- God orders Moses to have the Israelites camp in front of the sea. Then he causes Pharaoh to pursue them with his army. When the Egyptians catch up the Jews are afraid, but God has Moses split the sea and they walk through on dry land. He positions himself between them. The Egyptians try to follow, but God locks up the wheels of their chariots. When the Jews are on the other side, Moses releases the sea, which drowns all the Egyptians. Yay God. I have to admit, I don’t remember being taught as a child how manipulated Pharaoh was in all of this.
- The Israelites, in the tradition of, well, people everywhere, sing a bard-worty song about God destroying the Egyptian army and his threat to enemies of the future. The women dance a little dance. Then they all head out again. Three days later, they arrive at Marah. The water at the oasis is too bitter to drink, Moses throws a piece of wood into it and it becomes sweet. God tells them that if they continue to worship him, he’ll keep them safe and healthy for all time. They move on to another oasis with a dozen springs and seventy date palms.
- Hungry on their long March, the Israelites begin to grumble. After all, slaves or not, they were fed while in Egypt. God hears, tells Moses he’ll send food. He sends manna, yes, we’ve all heard about that, but he also sends flocks of quail. Did you learn about quail?
- Not satisfied with manna and quail (did I mention quail?!), the Israelites complain about not having enough water. God has Moses produce water from a rock. Then he has him send Joshua with troops out to challenge the nation of Amalek. In order to demonstrate his power, God has Moses stand atop a hill, and as long as Moses raises his staff high, Joshua’s troops prevail, but every time he lowers his arm, Amalek’s troops start to. Moses gets tired and needs help holding up the staff. Joshua’s troops win.
- Moses’ father-in-law Jethro notes that Moses is doing everything himself (what happened to Aaron?) and tells him he needs to learn to delegate.
- Three months out of Egypt, God’s demoed his powers, he tells Moses to tell the folk that they will be a treasured people, a holy nation, IF they follow the rules. He’s going to do a big reveal. Everyone, three days of purity, then gather at the base of Mt. Sinai. No one is to go on the mountain except Moses until given the signal. Moses goes up. God gives the signal; nobody moves because they’re afraid. God says, go back and get Aaron. They go back up together.
- Moses returns from talking with God to pass on the rules. No other gods, no idols, keep the sabbath, honor your parents, don’t murder, don’t commit adultery, don’t steal, don’t bear false witness, don’t covet others’ property. All oral, no tablets mentioned.
- This first listing of the famed ten commandments is immediately followed by more, that outline more rules. We’ve still not seen any tablets at this point. First, the rules for owning and freeing Hebrew slaves, really more indentured servants. Then, we turn to murder. Murder planned, or in anger? Death. By accident? Exile. Striking or dishonoring your parents? Death. Kidnapping? Death. Injure someone in a fight? Pay for their medical care and lost wages. Hurt a pregnant woman with no lasting injuries? Pay what her husband decides. Injure her or her baby? Eye for an eye time visited on you or your family. Your animal injures someone? Pay for medical care. Your animal does it repeatedly? Death for the animal… and you. God really liked the death penalty as a punishment.
- The rules continue. If you steal, intentionally or not, you pay restitution. However, a thief caught in the act may be beaten to death. Don’t tolerate sorceresses (sorcerers are not mentioned). Bestiality is punishable by death. Sacrificing to other gods, exile. Oppressing strangers is not allowed. Maltreatment of widows or orphans, death penalty. No interest to be charged on loans to other Jews. First born sons are to be consecrated to God’s service when a week old. Don’t eat roadkill, give it to your dogs.
- More rules. Basically, be fair to others, don’t cheat, lie, steal. Help others when you can. Then a whole speech from God on how he’ll help the Jewish people expand into the world as long as they’re truly faithful, destroying enemies in their path. Details provided.
- Moses recites the commandments and rules to the people, and they unanimously agree to them. He writes them down, builds an altar, the people bring sacrifices, he throws half the blood on the altar and half on the people. Then he asks all the elders to come with him. They go to the mountain with Moses and see God on a sapphire plateau. God asks them to wait and for Moses to come with him to get all the commandments AND teachings written in stone. Six days later, he appears as fire, Moses goes with him into a cloud for forty days.
- God has a gift registry of all the gold, silver, gems, fabrics, and woods that he demands to receive. Followed by what reads like an IKEA instruction manual for putting together the Ark of the Covenant. It’s no wonder no one is really sure what it looks like.
- Cloths, curtains, lumber, gold. God’s shopping list for the construction of the Tabernacle to house the Ark of the Covenant. With vague instructions as to how it all goes together. Figure it out yourself and get it right or we’ll have words seems to be the approach.
- What appears to be the final instructions related to the Ark and Tabernacle, the construction of the altar, of copper and silver and various linens and yarns. But really, lots of copper. It is, after all, basically a barbecue grill. And copper conducts heat well.
- Having dispensed with the whole Tabernacle, God turns to its priests. He dictates the fashions in which to dress Aaron and his sons, who are the first priests, in terms that Versace would only dream of, and Liberace might well wear.
- Bulls, rams, and lambs. Now that you’ve got Aaron and sons’ wardrobes sorted, you’ve got to get them all prepped with oils and blood from sacrifices over a week. Then you can let them get dressed. Maybe they should rinse first.
- Aaron and sons, now properly annointed and dressed, are to tend to the Altar in the Tabernacle. To do so they must wash their hands and feet before entering, or they’ll be struck dead. They must make a spice oil with which to spritz everything in the Tabernacle. But they shouldn’t touch the oil, as if it contacts their skin, they’ll be struck dead. They must make an herb incense and burn it in the Tabernacle. But they shouldn’t burn any of it for personal use, or they’ll be exiled for life. Being a priest isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
- Did you ever learn about Bezalel or Oholiab, the two people that God themself anointed as the master craftsmen for all of the design and creation of all the stuff specified in verses 25-30? I sure didn’t. I mean, kind of important positions, you know? God reminds Moses to remind the people about keeping the Sabbath, as the one key thing to keeping faith with the Divine. Not keeping the Sabbath is a deal-breaker. And then, oh yeah, says, hey, I wrote all that stuff down on two stone tablets for you. Here, take them.
- Moses is up on the mountain awhile and the people get restless. They say to Aaron, hey, maybe he’s not coming back, maybe the whole God thing is made up, we need to do something. Aaron asks them for their gold and creates the golden calf for them to worship. God sees, gets pissed, tells Moses he’s going to wipe out the people. Moses points out that the rest of the world would see that as a conspiracy for the escape from Egypt just to kill them. God relents. Moses goes down the mountain, makes a scene, destroys the tablets. He chastises Aaron, then rallies the Levites and has them kill 3000 of the people to set an example, grinds the calf into powder and makes the Israelites drink it. Then asks God to forgive them or kill him. This is not the story I remember learning as a kid….
- God tells Moses to lead the people to back to the land of his forefathers, Israel. Moses tells the people to take off their finery and show a little humility. He sets up a tent outside camp where he daily meets with God. He tells God that he can’t do this alone. God agrees to lead the way. Moses asks to see him face to face, rather than as a pillar of smoke. God tells him to go to a spot on the mountain where Moses can see him from the back, but not face to face, which would kill him.
- God tells Moses to come back up the mountain, but this time to bring his own tablets. Moses spends 40 days on the mountain, getting them inscribed (both sides, apparently, like the originals that he shattered). God offers to clear the way for the Israelites path home. But it’s conditional; keep the Sabbath, worship him, make sacrifices to him, and don’t make treaties with or take wives from anyone in their path, which might tempt the Israelites to accept other gods. Moses returns to the people, new tablets in hand, and a rosy glow on his face.
- God tells Moses, and Moses tells the people, keep the Sabbath, work six days a week, take the seventh off. And everyone who is able, donate their precious metals, woods, and fabrics, and more importantly, time, and get the Tabernacle, Ark, and altar built.
- People donate their stuff, Bezalel, Oholiab, and the other craftsmen get to work. I missed it in the earlier litany – part of the Tabernacle cover is made of dolphin skin. That bothers me more than ram skins. And I didn’t know there were dolphins in the Mediterranean.
- Bezalel is in charge of the wood and metal work. Lots of detail about what he fashioned, lots of things made of acacia wood and gold. Much attention paid to gold lamps in the anatomically correct form of almond flowers.
- I wish there was more to get into today, but basically Bezalel adds in all sorts of copper and silver adornments to the Altar and Ark. Lots of copper and silver. Sockets, poles, rings, and… horns. There are copper horns on the Altar and Ark.
- The litany of craftwork continues. Today it’s the priestly breastplate with blue, purple, and crimson yarns; lapis lazuli, jasper, and beryl gemstones representing the 12 tribes. And… suddenly the work is finished – the Altar, the Ark, the Tabernacle. Bezalel and Oholiab and all their workers bring everything to Moses for inspection. He sees that it’s up to snuff and blesses them for their work.
- God says, ‘okay, let’s see what you got. Get it all set up for the first of the new year’. Moses sets everything up: the Altar, Ark, Tabernacle, anointed priests, water, wine, bread. God settles in as a cloud. The Israelites wait for God to go so they can move on.