Malachi – Is Everybody With Me?

Get With the Program - English Idioms & Slang Dictionary

We’re finally on to the last of the minor prophets. The Book of Malachi is only midway through our venture of Hebrew texts. Unless you’re Christian, where it’s considered the last book of the Old Testament, and its focus on the lax behavior and religious practices of post-exile Jerusalemites is considered the perfect place to begin the New Testament and create a new religion atop Judaism. For Jews, we’re not at the end of the scripture, we don’t have old and new, we have the Tanakh – the Torah and follow-on writings – and didn’t feel the need to go off on a wild tangent. Malachi himself is a mystery, the name is actually a title, meaning “My Messenger”, and who said messenger was is never revealed. Many speculate it was the prophet Ezra, whom we haven’t even encountered yet in these readings. I’m sure we’ll get there.

  1. “Hey folks, listen up! God here. I’ve shown you nothing but love. Except, you know, for those of you I’ve singled out over time to cast out, cast down, or, well, you get the idea. But that’s all in the spirit of showing you who’s boss. Anyway, where’s the love in return? I mean, a father may be a strict authoritarian with his son, just as a master may be with his slave, but, you know, it’s the son’s or slave’s obligation to show unconditional love in return. I’m not doing this all for my own health, you know?”
  2. “Oh, and hey priests, it’s your turn now. God here again. You know, I can see into your hearts and souls, and I know whether you’ve been naughty or nice. I know whether you really believe in me or are just going through the motions. So, here’s the deets. You either start believing in my wholeheartedly or I’m going to ruin your lives, crush you like bugs. If you can’t do that, get out of the priesthood. God out.”
  3. “God here, winding up this last minor prophet’s book. There are too many of you who aren’t afraid of me. You go along, blithely doing things that I said you shouldn’t and there have never been any consequences, so yeah, I can kind of see why you’d keep doing them. But that’s all about to change. I’m coming and I’m punishing. Well, first one of my angels is coming and punishing, because I have, you know, other things to do. Be afraid. Be very afraid.”