Having taken a pause at the base of Mt. Sinai in order to lay out the rules for the priestly class, God’s ready to get things moving. He’s got his mobile home in the form of the Tabernacle, everyone’s clear on what they’re supposed to do in order to be in his good graces, and, the Israelites themselves have been itching to go for some time now. And so begins Numbers, the journey from Mt. Sinai back to the Promised Land. In some ways, it’s a bit of a travelogue, dividing the time between leaving Mt. Sinai, being in the desert, and arriving at the border of Canaan, on the plains of Moab. But in many ways, it’s more of a story of the older generation, still often clinging to the traditions that they were brought up with and not quite ready to embrace this new world order, versus the up and coming generation who are growing up with the new rules and customs dictated at Sinai.
- If you’re headed out on a long march across potentially hostile territory, you want an army. God tells Moses and Aaron to gather together a designated representative from each of the tribes, except the Levites, the priestly class, who maintain the Tabernacle. Then each representative is to return to their tribe, take a census, and, draft every able bodied male aged 20 and up, to arm themselves and prepare for the long march. In short order, they have an army of 603,550 armed men, divided into twelve tribal battalions.
- God’s being a micro-manager with the troops. He directs Moses and Aaron of where to place each of the twelve tribes’ camps around the Tabernacle and the Levites, to protect them. It’s like a big clock-face. Each battalion flies its own banner and marches together.
- Aaron and his two remaining sons are in charge of the Tabernacle. God, claiming the devotion of the first born males, instructs that the 13th tribe, the Levites (Levi having been the first born), are to be dedicated to protecting the Tabernacle (and later, the Temple). On counting the male descendants of Levi, over the age of one month, there are 22,000 dedicated directly to the service of God. On the march, they will immediately surround the Tabernacle, and anyone unauthorized who approaches is to be put to death. God’s priestly assassins.
- God instructs Aaron and Moses to take yet another census, this time of all those in the Levite tribe, of service age, that is, 30-50 years old. They will be responsible for lifting and carrying the entire Tabernacle, Altar, and Ark setup as the Israelites march. To make it ready for the march across the desert, everything in it is to be covered with blue cloths and dolphin skin. Apparently there were a lot of dolphins available, and skinning them was a thing. No wonder the dolphins are like, “so long and thanks for all the fish”.
- God says, before we get going, put anyone with an STD outside the camp. And, anyone who has wronged someone else must pay restitution before we go. And, side note, if a guy thinks his wife has been cheating on him, but doesn’t have proof, bring her to a priest, along with an offering of grain. The priest will have the woman hold the grain, and then will make her drink some holy water along while he utters an invocation. If she doesn’t get sick, she wasn’t cheating. If she does, she was. The man, of course, gets a pass, regardless.
- God sets out the rules for someone who declares themself a Nazirite. What’s interesting here is that no explanation is given of what a Nazirite is or why someone might choose to declare themself one. History say it’s someone who declared a voluntary period of penance. It involved setting oneself apart, dedicated to God’s service, abstaining from grapes (in fresh, raisin, or wine form), not shaving their head, not being near a dead body. Several sacrifices are required, and on completion of the vow, shaving their head completely. Apparently, in the entire Bible (we shall see about this), only one person is ever named who declared themself a Nazirite, and that was Samson – the whole not cutting his hair thing that I remember from Sunday school.
- The Levites and the Tabernacle are prepped and ready to go. But wait. There’s more. Sacrifices! We need sacrifices! Each day, for twelve days, one of the tribal chieftains arrives at the Tabernacle with gold, silver, flour, oil, incense, oxen, rams, goats, and lambs.
- God instructs Moses to select from among the Levites all the fit, unblemished men, between the ages of 25-50, to serve at his pleasure. After age 50, they’re to leave. To prepare them for his service, they’re to be shaved from head to toe, washed, and dressed nicely. This sounds suspiciously like a casting call for gay porn films from William Higgins.
- Was beginning to think this march was never going to actually get moving. But, after a last speech about making sure to observe Pesach sacrifices, it’s time to go. God’s still micro-managing. When it’s time to camp, he appears as a cloud resting over the Tabernacle. When he’s ready to move, he lifts up from the Tabernacle, clear skies, time go march!
- Nope, sorry, spoke too soon. God’s still not ready for the Israelites to move out. First they need to make two silver horns, to be given to Aaron’s two sons, and they will be the trumpeters who use the horns to announce marching orders, outlined in detail afterwards.
- The Israelites are supremely tired of manna. It’s all they’ve been eating since they left Egypt. Egypt, with its abundance of fish, melons, cucumbers, leeks, onions, and garlic. They whine. God gets angry. Moses pleads on their behalf, and his own. God says, okay, have some meat. He sends flocks of quail, so many that they are waist high on the ground. As the Israelites cook and eat the meat, God, still pissy, gives them all a foodborne illness, and the biggest whiners all die. The Israelites bury their dead, stop whining, and head out.
- Moses takes an additional wife, and horror of horrors, she’s a “Cushite”, i.e., a black woman from Southern Egypt. Miriam, Aaron’s wife, convinces Aaron to denounce Moses for this interracial relationship. God gets pissed (he’s pissed a lot) and calls them together. He tells them that with most prophets, he appears to them as a vision, but speaks to Moses directly, and Moses has his favor, and who Moses chooses as a wife is up to him. God plagues Miriam with leprosy and demands she be exiled for a week as punishment. The Israelites march on.
- Suddenly, and with no account of the time spent enroute, the Israelites are approaching Canaan, the promised land. God instructs Moses to send out scouts, a leader from each of the thirteen tribes, to see what the land and people ahead are like. One wonders why God didn’t just tell Moses what the land and people ahead are like…. However, the scouts spend forty days getting the lay of the land, returning to report that produce is abundant, the land fertile, but the people are numerous and strong. Oh, and by the way, there are Nephilim guarding the borders. You know, giants, the half and half offspring of humans and fallen angels.
- Alarmed by the prospect of what lies ahead, some Israelites begin to rail against God, fostering the sentiment that they had been better off in Egypt. God’s ready to rage quit. All these guys do is complain. So he appears to Moses and announces it’s time for a reset. If the descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob don’t like, follow, and worship him, he’ll wipe them out and start over. Moses points out that all that would do is show that God wasn’t a being of honor, after all, he promised Abraham to make it work. God, petulant as always, grudgingly agrees to not kill them all, instead to make them wander in the desert for forty years, despite Canaan being right in front of them. And because he’s still a peevish gamemaster, he wipes out all the more vocal dissidents with a plague.
- God has just imposed a 40-year penalty on the Israelites. What’s next? He presents his list of demands for worship and sacrifices to be performed at the end of the forty years, when they get to Canaan, i.e., Israel. A bit obsessed with this being worshiped thing, no? Further, he demands that if anyone in the community doesn’t fulfill their obligations and keep to his rules, that the community be held responsible, subject to divine punishment. Social enforcement! Someone breaks the rules and Moses has the community leaders stone him death.
- The grandsons of Levi and Reuben are not having it. 40 years in the desert? Moses killing their friends for Sabbath infractions? They gather together a group of 250 and demand Moses’ resignation as leader. He tells them to show up next day with incense to meet God. “We’ll see just who has God’s favor and who doesn’t,” is the gist of his response. Next day, God appears to them. He tells Moses and Aaron to get out of the way so he can kill all the Israelites, he’s had enough. He does that a lot. Moses and Aaron beg him not to kill everyone. He relents, tells Moses to clear everyone else away from the 250 rebels. Then he causes the ground to open up and swallow them live, straight to the underworld. I really don’t remember learning some of these stories as a kid. Did they rewrite the Torah over the last decades?
- You’d think, after God appeared to the 250 rebels, and caused the earth to swallow them up, that the Israelites might take a lesson. But no, the entire community rises up against Moses and Aaron, blaming them for the deaths. God sends a plague to wipe them all out. Aaron is in the middle of converting the rebels’ incense burners into copper plating for the Altar. Moses tells him to quickly take some of the sacred incense and stand in the middle of the community, to check the plague. Over 14k people die before it stops. God tells Moses to have each tribal chieftain bring their staff and leave them in the Tabernacle for the night. In the morning, Aaron’s staff has sprouted leaves, flowers, and almonds, designating his as… better? The Israelite response? “We’re lost, we’re all going to die!”
- It’s stick and carrot time with God! He instructs Aaron that he and his immediate family are in charge of the Tabernacle, Ark, and Altar. The entire Levite clan is responsible for those as well, but only his immediate family can have direct contact with the Altar. If other Levites or anyone else is permitted into the presence of the Altar, they, and Aaron and family, will be killed by God. On the bright side, Aaron and family are entitled to tithes of the first and best produce and livestock, as long as they treat it with respect. And, the first born son of any Levite family will be dedicated to the service of the Tabernacle.
- Whoops, a day late here! It’s red cow time! Find an unblemished red cow, the head priest slaughters it, sprinkles its blood around the encampment seven times, then burns the carcass over specific woods and herbs. The ashes are mixed with water. This water of “lustration” is used when a person becomes impure because of contact with a dead body. After a seven day waiting period, a priest sprinkled the impure person with the water of lustration. Done and dusted. Literally.
- The Israelites are rebelling, yet again. This time it’s “there’s no water in the desert, we had water back in Egypt, better you had left us there than brought us here to die of thirst”. Moses and Aaron, exasperated. God, more so. Gives Moses a staff to strike a stone. Moses strikes the stone, water comes forth. Yay God! But, God’s pissy. Again. He’s tired of Moses and Aaron interceding on behalf of the Israelites. So, he announces that they were clearly not the leaders they were meant to be. Two attempts to enter lands enroute to Canaan. Two attempts denied to the Israelites. God has Moses take Aaron to a mountain top, strip him, give his priestly vestments to his son Eleazar. The manner of his death is not made clear – God? Moses? Eleazar? Someone else? Enquiring minds want to know. Aaron is mourned for a month.
- A series of engagements against different tribes and fiefdoms that the Israelites encounter on their journey. After one, they begin complaining about the food and the long march, yet again. God sends poisonous serpents to kill them and many die. You’d think by now that the Israelites would get that complaining just pisses God off, but no. Instead, they get Moses to intercede once again. God tells him to setup a giant copper snake statue, and anytime someone gets bit by a poisonous snake, they can look at it and be cured. Now this is a new one for me. It sounds a bit… idol-ish, though I guess there’s no worshipping specified. Still, I’d think that someone dying of poison would likely pray to said copper serpent statue, rather than just treat it as a conduit from God.
- Balak, prince of Moab, sees the Israelites approaching, so numerous that “they cover the earth”. He panics, despite their assurances they just want to pass through in peace, and sends messengers to Balaam, prince of neighboring Pethor, to ally with him in battle. Balaam meditates on the request, God appears to him and says not to go, so he refuses. Balak persists, sending more messengers, offering riches. Balaam meditates again, God says, okay, but do what I tell you. Balaam mounts his donkey. Halfway there, the donkey sees God’s avatar. The donkey tries to run away, Balaam beats it. Three times this is repeated. Then God speaks to him through the donkey, asking why he’s beating him. The avatar appears. Balaam begs forgiveness, but notes that he had no idea the avatar was there. They continue to Moab.
- Balaam arrives and tells Balak what God’s messenger told him to, to build seven altars and make sacrifices of rams and oxen. They do so, Balaam says he has to go check in with the messenger, and shortly returns to recite a poem that blesses the enemy Moabites. Balak is incensed, demands to know why, Balaam says “just repeating God’s message”. Balak says, come to another hilltop and you’ll see what the Moabites are like. Rinse and repeat. Balak even more frustrated. They head to a third vantage point as this chapter ends.
- Now at the third vantage point, Balaam recites a couple of poems, both blessing the enemy and also the Israelites. Balak is still incensed, after all, he offered to pay for Balaam’s assistance in crushing the enemy. He tells Balaam to go back home, without payment! Balaam reminds him that from the start he was going to speak the words that God’s messenger gave him, regardless of potential rewards. He gives a last prophecy that one day, in the future, the Israelites will win the battle with a champion who arises, but not now. He heads home.
- After quite a few experiences with God’s response, Moses has gotten the lay of the land. While the Israelites are camped outside Moab, many of the men are tempted into sexual exploits with Moabite prostitutes, and duped into worship of Ba’al. Without even being prompted, Moses orders the priests to round up the men involved and execute them by impaling them on spikes in the center of the camp. Even when one of the chieftain’s sons is involved, Phinehas, a priest, kills both he and the woman he’s with. For that, God grants Phinehas and his descendants special recognition for all time. Moses, too, gets kudos for his initiative.
- Moses orders another census of the various clans’ able bodied, ready to serve men. The count comes back at 601,730. It should be noted that this is down from the 603,550 they started at on this march. Mostly due to, you know, the plagues God sent when he was pissed. God tells Moses to allot the newly conquered, or soon to be conquered (it’s not clear here, we haven’t seen a battle, but they’re talking like it’s over), in proportion to each clans’ percentage of the total able bodied men.
- In studying the Talmud through Daf Yomi, back on Shabbat page 97, we read about the daughters of Zelophehad’s petition for inheritance rights, since their father had died without leaving a male heir. Moses takes the case to God, who sides with the daughters. This isn’t the whole story, because there’s a whole two steps forward, one step back scenario, but that’s not covered in this chapter of Numbers. More on it on my Daf Yomi page.
- This chapter is God’s meal plan. It’s an enumeration of how many lambs, rams, goats, oxen, and types of bread, are required for each day, week, month, year, and holiday sacrifice, and what time of day they are to be offered up, along with a demand for punctuality.
- God’s going to town on micromanaging, as he does. He details out how many oxen, rams, lambs, and goats he expects on the sacrificial menu for each day of the week from Rosh Hashana to Yom Kippur. This almost feels like the origin point of the all you can eat buffet.
- A man’s word is sacrosanct. If he makes a vow or promise, he is obligated to keep it. It’s not so clear cut for a woman. For a young woman still in her father’s home, her word is only binding if her father doesn’t object. For a married woman, only if her husband doesn’t object. In both cases, however, if the father or husband doesn’t object at the time he finds out, and only later objects, her word is not only binding on her, but on him. So Moses tells the people, on God’s orders.
- Remember back a few chapters when the Midianite prostitutes waylaid our stalwart soldiers into worshipping Ba’al? Well, apparently killing the prostitutes and the Israelite men involved wasn’t enough for God. He orders Moses to destroy the Midianites, completely. The battle is engaged, and the Israelites slaughter every male soldier and plunder the community of its riches, livestock, women, and non-combatant men. Not enough! says Moses. Kill all the men, and all the non-virgin women! Then take a week outside the camp to purify yourselves. Then give half the spoils to the priests. The rest – riches, livestock, and virgin women – gets divided up among the tribes based on their share of men who fought in the battle. God’s not messing around with this “no worshipping other gods” thing.
- A couple of the tribes specialize in cattle ranching, and they see that the area outside of Canaan is better for grazing lands. They go to Moses and ask if they can be granted those lands rather than crossing the Jordan River and getting lands there. Moses responds, look, your forefathers tried to abandon us on this march and God made us wander the desert for 40 years until they died. Now you’re going to do it again? He’s pissed. No, no, they reply. We’ll provide troops to help take Canaan, but after, we want to return here. Moses consults with God. They agree to the terms. Sometimes you gotta negotiate for what you want.
- This chapter is a point to point reprise of the entire march from they day the Israelites left Egypt until they arrived at the Promised Land. It notes each place along the 40 year journey where they set-up an encampment. It ends with God telling them via Moses that their next step is to eliminate the current inhabitants and culture extant there, or he’ll be angry and eliminate the Israelites themselves. In the carrot and stick world, God seems very predisposed to constantly threaten the stick.
- This chapter is simply a geographical survey delineation of the boundaries of Israel, laid out by God to Moses. And a reminder that it’s only split between some of the clans, because a couple of them were granted ranchlands outside Israel.
- God continues with his land management and urban planning, instructing Moses to have 48 cities in Israel set aside for the priest class, the Levites. And further, to designate six cities, three inside the frontiers and three outside, as refuge cities. A refuge city is somewhere that someone accused of a capital crime can go and be safe from vengeance until after they’ve had a proper trial. No reference is (yet) made to how this safety from a “blood-avenger” is to be enforced.
- I figured the story of Zelophehad’s daughters (page 27) would be continued at some point, and here, on the last page of the book, it comes to a head. Clan leaders are up in arms over God’s decision to grant women, can you believe it, land rights. Not acceptable! What if those women marry outside of their clan, or outside of, dare we even suggest it, the Israelite tribes? The properties would then become property of “others”! Moses and God consult and a decree is issued, women can inherit property, but cannot marry outside their own clan!